


Murphy's Cops Law #2

by Python07



Series: Murphy's Cops Laws [2]
Category: Barney Miller (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:24:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small fic based on Murphy's Cops Law #2: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They punch, kick, and choke harder too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Murphy's Cops Law #2

Barney came out of his office to see the squad room was empty except for Dietrich working on a report at his desk. “Harris and Nick still out on that domestic?”

Dietrich looked around before nodding at Barney. “Yup.”

Barney sighed and poured himself a cup of coffee. “And Wojo’s late again.”

“Yeah, but he called and said he’s on his way.” Dietrich shrugged and continued deadpan. “Apparently, her alarm clock didn’t go off.”

Barney rolled his eyes. “I see.”

“So did he, just a little too late.”

Barney just stared at him and Dietrich smirked.

The phone rang and Dietrich answered. He listened for a moment and stood. “Captain,” he called without any trace of his usual amusement.

Barney came to stand beside him. “What is it?”

Dietrich covered the receiver. “It’s Cogan. They have a fight going on downstairs.”

Barney’s eyes got wide. “What?” he demanded.

Dietrich held a hand up. “Wait…Say again, Cogan.”

Barney set his mug down and started for the door. “There’s gotta be at least ten cops down there.” 

Dietrich hung up. “They have him. They’re bringing him up now.”

Barney held a hand over his chest and took a deep breath. “Okay. Anyone hurt?”

“No.”

“Thank God.”

The door swung open. In came Wojo, holding the suspect’s arm behind his back with one hand. His other hand had a powerful grip on the back of the man’s neck. Levitt trailed behind.

Barney looked the man up and down. The man was heavy-set and muscular. He had long black hair and tattoos covered both arms. He wore a ratty white tank top and black jeans. He scowled right back at Barney.

Barney glanced at Wojo. “What happened?”

Wojo twisted the man’s arm tighter. “Not sure, Barn. All I know is, I came into the station to see this ape try to take Rice’s head off with a chair. I tackled him from behind.”

“He just came in and punched the first officer he saw a couple minutes before Detective Wohjciehowicz came in,” Levitt chimed in from behind Wojo.

“You want to tell me why you did that, Mr…” Barney asked.

“Screw you!” the man snarled.

“Hey,” Wojo barked. “That’s Captain Miller to you.” He shoved the suspect into the cage. “Cool off!”

The suspect sat down on the bench. He sullenly folded his arms across his chest. He stared at the floor.

Barney shook his head and asked Wojo, “Everyone’s okay downstairs?”

“Yeah but…” Wojo paused and smiled wryly. He stepped to the side so Barney could see Levitt.

Barney frowned. “Oh, Levitt.”

Levitt blushed and gingerly touched his black eye. “I was the first one he saw, Sir,” he said sheepishly.

“Maybe we should have you checked out.”

Levitt waved that off. “Oh, I’m fine. I’ve had worse than this. I was ready to jump on his back when Wojo stepped in.” He puffed his chest out. “You know what they say. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

Dietrich had discreetly taken up position just behind the three. He tapped Levitt’s shoulder. “They punch, kick and choke harder too.”

Levitt looked back at Dietrich. He chewed on his bottom lip. “Um…yeah.”

Barney stepped closer and touched Levitt’s elbow. “If you feel up to it, I could really use you to assess the situation downstairs for me.”

Levitt straightened up. He nodded eagerly and barely winced. “You can count on me, Sir.”

“I know that,” Barney said smoothly and gave Levitt a slight push out the door. “I’ll be down in a little while.” He shut the door and turned a critical eye towards Dietrich. “Was that really necessary?”

The twinkle in his eye ruined Dietrich’s innocent expression. “Just sayin.”

“You’ve been hanging around Harris too long.”

Dietrich nodded towards the cage. “If it was Harris, he would’ve pointed to those man’s forearms and said that one of them is thicker than Levitt’s neck.”

Barney opened his mouth and shut it again. He shook his head and grunted softly. “Just help Wojo book ‘em.”

“It’ll be a pleasure.”


End file.
